WEIRD CHILDREN'S STUFF:

Adventures in Dinosaur City - A scientist's kids are sucked into a TV screen and wind up in the Stone Age with cavemen and dinosaurs. |

Ballad Of Smokey The Bear - After a few pleasant musical numbers, Smokey and Delilah corner the mysterious beast in an old shack, then force the creature to emerge. The monster turns out to be an escaped circus gorilla, wearing a shackle on one arm and smoking a cigar ... the source of the fires. At the end of the story, Smokey realises that his mission in life is to prevent forest fires. (But what happens to Delilah?) 'The Ballad of Smokey the Bear' is an above-average children's musical, intelligent and with a strong point to make, but it never condescends nor sermonises. I enjoyed this show and would like to see it again, and I strongly recommend it with a rating of 9 out of 10.

Battle For Billy's Pond, The - 70s kid flick. A huge chemical company pays illegal dumpers for disposal of chemical waste dangerous to the environment.

Beanstalk - A young boy finds a crate of green beans. When they're planted, they grow a beanstalk to the clouds, where a castle of giants are habited.

Bizarre Kids Double Feature - Features Chuck E Cheese In the Galaxy 5000 & In Search Of The Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo

Bruno the Kid: The Animated Movie - Bruno the Kid is an animated series produced in 1996 and starring Bruce Willis as the voice of an 11-year old boy who becomes a top spy for a secret espionage organization. The organization, named Globe, contacts Bruno via his computer and a special gadget watch, and are completely unaware of their top spy's young age as he hides behind a computer simulated avatar of a full grown man (in the image of Bruce Willis)

Computer Kid - An 8-year old boy invents a hand-held computer which can control any electronic device, and uses it to affect the entire town where he lives.

Computer Warriors - 90s Tron rip off aimed at kids. When a mechanical arm at Parallax Computer Systems drops a software cartridge and inserts itself in its place, it creates a power surge that turns four programs into viruses: Megahert, the leader; Indexx, his advisor; Null, a lackey, and the uncontrollable Minus.

Condorman - Comic artist and writer Woody (Michael Crawford) performs a simple courier operation for his friend Harry (James Hampton) who works for the CIA. But when he successfully fends off hostile agents, he earns the respect of the beautiful Natalia (Barbara Carrera), who requests his assistance for her defection. Woody uses this request as leverage to use the CIA's resources to bring his comic book creation, Condorman, to life to battle the evil Krokov (Oliver Reed).

Creating Rem Lezar - Zack and Ashlee discover the meaning of true friendship when they create an imaginary friend, the superhero Rem Lezar. Really out there with hilariously bad musical numbers that are far to frequent

Dirt Bike Kid - When his mother sends Jack off with money to buy groceries, he comes home with a magic supercharged dirt bike instead. His mother is furious, but when Jack uses the magic bike to save the local hot dog stand from the clutches of corrupt big business, he becomes the town hero.

Disney Halloween Special - Here is the Super Rare "Disney Halloween Special" from about 1983. This is the long version with the narrator and the Magic Mirror.

Disney Halloween Treat - Reworked (and slightly better quality) version of the Disney Halloween Special this time hosted by a pumpkin puppet. Both are great halloween fun!

Disney's Mousercise - Kids workout video featuring Mickey Mouse! Plus another workout tape for kids starring mother goose!....... STOP FUCKING JUDGING ME!!

Doug's First Movie - Doug and his friends find a "monster" living in the woods outside their town, but when they find the monster is actually kind of nice, they find themselves hunted by "bad guys" who want the monster. In addition, Doug has to compete for the attention of Patti Mayonnaise with a snobby 8th grader, Guy Graham. Will Doug get to take Patti to the Valentine's Day dance? High quality transfer!

Electric Grandmother - To a family whose children are traumatized by the death of their mother, help comes in a most bizarre way. They receive three pieces, that when joined together, give a recording for an offer for an electric grandmother. They go to a bizarre factory, where they customize their new grandmother, and within a short time, she arrives. The android is equipped with everything needed as a parent and the boys are charmed. The daughter, however, still misses her mother and she bears no welcome for this interloper...

Flight of The Dragons - This is an animated movie based on the book by Peter Dickinson. In this movie the realm of magic is being threatened by the realm of logic, so Carolinus, the green wizard decides to shield it for all time. Ommedon, the evil red wizard, stands in his way. Carolinus then calls for a quest that is to be led by a man named Peter Dickinson, who is the first man of both the realms of science and magic. It is Peters job to defeat Ommedon.

Great Land of Small, The - Where it doesn't matter how big you are, just how big you dream. Two children enter a fantasy kingdom and are confronted by evil forces.

Halloween That Almost Wasn't - Upset by rumors that Halloween may end, Dracula calls his mild-mannered monsters together and delivers an ultimatum - either regain their frightening image, or leave his Transylvania castle forever. Also contains bonus Johnny Cash stuff for some reason.

Halloween Tree - Four children learn the origins of Halloween customs while trying to save the life of their friend.

Hoboken Chicken Emergency - Arthur is asked to pick up a bird for Thanksgiving dinner, so he brings home a 266-pound chicken named Henrietta (played by a man in probably the worst giant chicken outfit ever.... although I guess its impossible to have a giant chicken costume that doesn't look retarded). The family welcome her with open arms, but the neighbors are not so sure and then Henrietta escapes...

How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love + Teen Set Video Magazine - 2 80s PSAs aimed at pre-teens. How to Tell if I'm Really In Love features various celebrities teaching you about love. Teen Set Video Magazine features a bunch of mini-pieces about various topics troubling teens.

How To Become A Teenage Ninja - Ah the early 1990s, this video will probably only make sense to those who were kids back then, and even then its a long shot. Basically this is a how to video aimed at kids to teach them how to become ninjas! You have to wonder how many kids went to school the next day and practiced kicking each other in the face and throwing ninja stars into each others eyes (hell, I'm not even a kid anymore and I'm considering it) great piece of sh.. I mean, Nostalgia!

Hugga Bunch + John Lithgow Kids Concert - Hugga Bunch: A girl travels through her mirror into HuggaLand to find a way to keep her grandmother, the only one who knows how to hug, young. I also threw on a, uh, "Concert" put on by John Lithgow for a bunch of kids where he sings nursery rhymes. I don't know why I have this.

In Your Wildest Dreams - Mark is a high school senior who thinks his wildest dreams have come true when he uses the wrong computer to make a simulated stock purchase and accidentally makes a million dollars. Unfortunately, Mark's million turns out to be the money Mr. Banks needs to save his electronics company. Mark must decide if his idea of success is worth hurting those closest to him.

Jack and the Witch - Young Jack and his animal friends stumble onto a weird, dystopian fantasia where a witch casts evil spells and monsters come out of the colorful woodwork. A favorite of the many Toei cartoon features from Japan, because of its kooky, strange and scary nature, not exactly right for young kids, almost more of a "head" film. There's some great psychedelic/hallucinatory scenes, the stuff of a child's nightmares, including a bizarre scene involving gentle raindrops that turn into flesh-eating monsters! Complete with blood and torture, this one's way ahead of its time, truly the dark horse of '60s Japanese animation, a full twenty years before boring, derivative "anime-chic".  Quality is pretty good given the rarity of the film.

Little Red Riding Hood & The Monsters - Wow - this movie is an absolute classic! An awful, jaw droppingly bad "kiddie" movie where the beloved characters of Little red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb are put into a creepy, disturbing monster movie with hideous costumes and terrible make-up and sets that fifth graders could make better with paper and scissors. The dubbing of this Mexican made oddity is so off and so badly cast that when the creepy kid playing Little Red starts singing the dubbed voice sounds like a cabaret singer in her late 50;s. You just have to see it to believe it. Some of the animal costumes are so molting looking and gross, it actually looks as if the fur has fleas or scabies.

Magic Island - Jack Carlisle is a disillusioned 13-year old boy. His mother is always away at work since his father left. He decides to run away, as his mom won't miss him. As he is ready to leave, his nanny, convinces him to read this 'magic book'. The book is about a pirate adventure on Magic Island. As Jack reads the book, he is sucked into the world and goes on numerous adventures with Prince Morgan, while fleeing the evil Blackbeard the Pirate. He is even saved by Lily, a beautiful mermaid, whom he falls in love with.

Mickey The Clown's Musical Big Top - An aged circus clown's wacky video, The songs are so bad that you can’t help but to laugh!

Mr. Boogedy - A novelty-salesman (Richard Masur) moves his family (Mimi Kennedy with Benjamin Gregory, David Faustino, and Kristy Swanson) into a new house. Initially dismissing incidents as more of their father's practical jokes, the family soon learns that the house is haunted by people who lived in the house 300 years previously.

My Pet Monster - The live action movie! Anyone alive in the 80s remembers this

Nutcracker Fantasy - Obscure 1979 stop motion animation Christmas Movie. Dreamy and dark Japanese-made stop-motion "Animagic" fantasy feature loosely based on E.T.A. Hoffman's "The Nutcracker And The Mouse King". Melissa Gilbert voices Clara, a young eager girl who receives a mysterious nutcracker from her eccentric Uncle Drosselmeyer (Christopher Lee), that starts her on a strange fever-dream adventure through different shadowy and colorful worlds. Christopher Lee lends his voice for several characters and even sings a couple of songs. Director Takeo Nakamura had previously worked as animator for several Rankin/Bass "Animagic" specials.

Peanut Butter Solution - Peanut butter is the secret ingredient for magic potions made by two 'friendly' ghosts. Eleven-year-old Michael looses all of his hair when he gets a 'fright' and uses the potion to get his hair back, but too much peanut butter causes things to get a bit 'hairy'.

Pet Shop - Kids' film about a couple of aliens who come to earth and open up a pet shop in an attempt to try and eat some of earth's children for dinner.

Phantom Tollbooth - Milo is a boy who is bored with life. One day he comes home to find a toll booth in his room. Having nothing better to do, he gets in his toy car and drives through - only to emerge in a world full of adventure.

Poco... Little Dog Lost - It looks like the end of the line for Poco and Kim when they are separated following a car accident. Poco's relentless search takes him through the desert. Bravely facing the odds, Poco encounters many dangers, and makes some new friends.

Prehysteria - A young boy and his family embark on a series of adventures when the boy finds some mysterious eggs which hatch to reveal a brood of baby dinosaurs. From moonbeam (full moon's childrens label)

Prehysteria 2 - A rich boy desperate for attention makes friends with the dinosaurs of "Prehysteria!".

Puss 'n' Boots - Don't miss this truly unusual live-action Mexican adaptation! A Young Shepard and his cat are tossed out of their home after the boy's father dies in the woods. The cat (who can speak) asks the boy to give him a pair of magical red boots and "presto-change-o" becomes a swashbuckling dwarf in a ratty cat costume! Randy and another dwarf in a rooster costume go on a mission to save a princess from having to marry an evil ogre's obese son! Brought to you by underground whack-job K. Gordon Murray. Quality isn't the best, but its rare as fuck so give it a break!

Richest Cat In The World, The - extremely rare 1986 made for TV family film. Unfortunatly the first 40 minutes of the film have a VHS line through the top. Leo Kohlmeyer is a talking cat who inherits $5 million from his late owner and is looked after by the owner's in-laws whose two children, Bart and Veronica, learn Leo's secret that he can talk, while a bumbling, but devious, couple called the Rigsbys plot to kidnap Leo in order for them to gain the inheritance money for themselves.

Roddy Piper Fighting Fit - What? No you haven't gone crazy, not yet anyway. Roddy Piper and a whole crapload of rugrats made this fitness video for kids that spends more time stroking old Roddy's ego than working out. The first ten minutes are a mini bio on how hard his life was!!! This thing is HILARIOUS!!! It's pretty short so as a bonus is the very rarely aired 2004 AL-TV where Weird AL takes on Eminem, Avril Lavine and other braindead stars. Good shit all the way round!

Sammy's Super T-Shirt - A young boy's lucky t-shirt is transformed through a power surge and gives its wearer super-powers.

Santa & The Ice Cream Bunny - Poor Santa Claus. This live-action feature finds his sleigh stuck in the sand on a Florida beach only days before Christmas Eve. He psychically summons prepubescent aid from a nearby subdivision. In order to extricate Santa's sleigh, the local children bring many different animals (presumably the sheep was someone's housepet), but nothing works, and the kids are afraid they won't get any gifts this year. To boost their spirits, Santa tells them the story of Thumbellina, and the setting dissolves into a "fantasy within a fantasy". Thumbellina is a beautiful but very tiny girl, "not much larger than a clothes pin". She becomes lost in the forest during the winter and finds refuge in the underground home of Mrs. Mole. A neighbor mole, Mr. Digger, falls in love and wants to marry Thumbellina, but she's having none of it. When warm weather returns, she runs back into the forest and deserts the two kindly creatures who saved her life, crushing their spirits forever ... the end. As Santa is finishing his story and yes, that is its intended conclusion he and the children hear the wail of a siren. The "Ice Cream Bunny" has arrived in his antique fire engine to save the day!

Santa With Muscles - An evil millionaire (Hulk Hogan) gets amnesia and then believes that he is Santa Claus.

Show Off: A Kid’s Guide to Being Cool - Another lost classic from the mid 1980’s, this is somewhat of an “instructional” video (not unlike Mr. T’s awesomely bad attempt at teaching the kids how to be cool) which basically gives us insight on how to become bigger dorks than we already are. You can “impress” your friends with lame magic tricks, or by miming, or other weird stuff that would make your friends think you were on the drugs again. But just like the Mr. T video, this one is packed with unintentionally funny parts, bad 80’s moments, corny sketches and topped off with our main man Malcolm as our guide through all the weirdness. Essential viewing!!

Song Of The South - The infamous Racist musical Disney film, high quality with extras! Zippity doo-dah indeed

Super Xuxa versus Satan - Baixo Astral, an evil spirit who lives in the sewers, and whose mission is to bring unhappiness to this world, hears Xuxa on TV asking children to fight for a better world. Threatened by those words, he declares war on her and devises a plan to overcome her, helped by his allies Titica and Morcegão. Among other things, she will have to rescue her little dog from his evil hands.

Supersonic Saucer - Somewhere in Great Britain, a group of schoolchildren visit the local planetarium. While looking through the giant telescope, one young lad, Rodney, sees what appears to be a flying saucer circling the planet Venus. Nobody believes him, however, and the class returns to school. Ultra rare, ultra weird 1950s scifi film by The Children’s Film Foundation

Teddy Ruxpin - Live action pilot based around the popular children's toy. The show was never picked up but was instead released as a TV movie and later a VHS tape.

Think Of The Children! - Collection of crazy PSAs aimed at kids. Features Welcome To The Streets With Lenny The Lion - a hand puppet lion teaches you to stay safe of the streets. He shows you crack at one point, that part was funny. Now I Can Potty - a potty training video, obviously. How To Raise a Street Smart Child - Lessons to teach parents how to keep their kids away from strangers, like that kind that want to take naughty pictures of them by the pool, that part was weird. Adventures of RF Ant - Anti-drug animation. Probably better if you took drugs first. You should totally take drugs and watch this shit.

Too Much - A low budget, bizarre take on the whole Short Circuit thing from 1987. This time, a little girl named Susie is given a robot companion while with her parents on a business trip in Japan. She dubs the multi-tasking robot “Too Much” because it can do all kinds of crap….it’s like it’s alive!!! She ends up liking the metal heap so much that they make a break for it in the heart of downtown Tokyo so that they can be together forever…and the craziness begins!! Car chases, weird antics, robot love and more…..

Video Toy Chest - Late 80s video showing kids all the new toys out on the market and then showing the official commercial for them. Includes Mall Maddness, Dance Magic Barbie,  Mickey Mouse Doll, Toy Cars, and more

Weirdo Kids Hour Vol 1 - Strange films aimed at children. Includes the following: "Free To Be You And Me" - hippie era film about being an individual. "Strong Kids, Safe Kids" - special on avoiding sexual predators hosted by Henry Winkler AND the Fonz. "It's Potty Time" - Musical about the potty with a little man demonstrating how to pee and take a shit correctly. Quality varies.

Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus - 1974 TV Christmas Movie. Partly based on a true story, a little girl writes to the editor of a newspaper concerning the existence of Santa Claus.

Young Harry Houdini - This biographical movie depicts the youth of the magician Harry Houdini (1874 - 1926). As a boy his name was Eric Weiss and his father wanted him to become a locksmith. But he ran away and joined the traveling show of Dr. Grimaldi, where he learned the tricks of a magician and a little mystery from his Indian assistant, too

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